If you are suffering from a recent divorce, Covington Divorce Attorney Tammy Karas-Griggs knows that Thanksgiving can be a tough time for you. Thanksgiving and Divorce do not go hand in hand. When we think of Thanksgiving, we often think of mass amounts of food, family, friendship, fellowship, and warm and fuzzy feelings. For many Americans, this is not the case. During Thanksgiving, wounds can open up from a recent divorce: especially if you are not the parent with your kids on this Holiday. Divorced parents without their children might not feel so great about cooking a meal. Here are some ways to get through Thanksgiving if you happen to be alone.
Don’t Wallow
It’s easy to wallow in self-pity and with social media being the main part of our lives, it’s easy to look at our friends’ pictures and posts on the internet and compare our lives. Make sure that you realize that these are just images and are most likely not showing the inner struggle they may be going through. You don’t post your sadness on the internet and others don’t either!
Plan a Thanksgiving at Another Time
You can plan your Thanksgiving with your children at any time! Living in America means that you can celebrate with your family whenever you want! The week before or after is an appropriate time to plan a special activity with your family!
Relax
If you find yourself alone on this holiday, it might be best to practice self-care! If you find yourself complaining about not being able to do things because of the hustle and bustle of life: now is the time! Try buying a book for your holiday break, going to see a movie you’ve been wanting to see or taking a trip to the spa!
Give Back
Nothing makes you feel better than helping others. If you can’t be with your family, there are tons of ways to volunteer and give back to your community. Many charitable organizations are short-staffed on Thanksgiving and could use some help. Try volunteering at your local soup kitchen, or donating old clothes to a charity. Homeless people need lots of help during the cold winter!
Tammy Karas-Griggs cares deeply about you and your family’s well-being not only during the holiday season but all year! If you are struggling with your recent divorce and need help from a divorce attorney in Covington, she is here with open arms. Contact her today!
As a Family Law Attorney in New Orleans, Tammy Karas-Griggs cares about you and your family. However, not all familial bonds are of blood. There are many misconceptions around the idea of adopting a child, however ask anyone who has adopted, and they would tell you the many reasons to consider adoption. Adoption is a hard decision to make for your family, but if you decided to do it, to could be the best decision of your life.
Here are just a few reasons to consider adoption.
There are millions of children who are homeless
There are 153 million orphans who need to be adopted around the world. Just in the U.S. there are 423,733 kids who are living in a foster home, who have never been able to call one place a home. Many of these children come from abuse, countries amid war, and families who couldn’t support them. All these children deserve a home and happy life.
You won’t have to worry about your biological clock or infertility
As a woman you have to worry about how many eggs you have and how old you are when it comes to having a child. Couples frequently worry about infertility and having to see a specialist in order to get pregnant. Adoption takes away all that tension and stress of producing a child.
You could give a child an education
American foster kids often have trouble finishing high school because of the instability of their homes. Overseas thousands of children live in underserved communities that don’t provide proper education. Whether you choose to adopt domestically or internationally, you’ll be able to open doors to a lifetime of learning those kids wouldn’t have where they are now.
There are numerous resources from nonprofits to established programs that are dedicated to providing information to families that want to adopt. If you do your research, you can find a program to help you find the perfect child. Families can also apply for grants or put on fundraisers to help with the cost.
Your heart is bigger than you think
Many people worry that they could never love an adopted kid the same way, however talk to any adoptive parent and they’ll tell you that’s false. The child is still your own and with the right support you will never doubt your love for them.
Certain situations call for grandparents and other relatives adopting children within their family. If you need help with a situation like this, please don’t hesitate to call Tammy Karas-Griggs.
Father’s Day after divorce can be difficult to think about. For many divorced Fathers out there, this holiday can serve as a harsh reminder of the most painful loss from the divorce: Time with their children.
However, this special holiday can reinforce the fact that you are always there for them. You may still be feeling hurt and resentful, but Father’s Day is not all about you and is also about your kids.
No matter how much time you actually get to spend with your children on Father’s day , you need to make the effort to show your kids you love them and are there for them to the fullest extent. Planning something fun and meaningful will express how much you care.
When planning your Father’s Day, keep the following in mind.
Leave your resentment at the door
It is fairly common to hold a grudge towards your ex for a long time after the divorce, and it can be even more or an issue if the divorce was recent. Put all your negative feelings away while you are working to make it a special day for your children.
Plan ahead
Winging it may be more of your style, but to make the most out of the time you have with your kids on Father’s Day, planning ahead is super important. Figure out your children’s schedules in advance and plan accordingly, as well as some contingency ideas for situations where something falls through.
Use technology
Even if you are unable to see your children in person you can still use technology to show them you care about seeing them. Video chatting apps such as Facetime, Skype, and other camera apps will allow you to see your kids face to face.
Focus on Quality time
Some fathers may not be able to spend the entire day with their kids, others will be limited to just a few hours and there are still more who will not get to see their kids at all. However, the amount of time you spend isn’t what matters — it’s how you spend it.
Money doesn’t matter
Don’t be ashamed if you cannot go afford expensive plans. It’s very common and completely understandable that divorce wreaks havoc on bank accounts.
Be Creative
Don’t just sit and watch TV together, get active and creative! Even things as simple as going to a park, a local pool, on a hike, fishing or crafting some kind of project together will strengthen your bond with your children.
Contact your Father
Don’t neglect your own father on Father’s Day! The chances are you won’t have your kids for the whole day, so take a moment after your children have left to reach out to your own father. Even getting your whole side of the family together will be a good experience for your father and your children.
If you feel that your custody plan is unfair, Tammy Karas-Griggs can help. It’s important for all children to see both of their parents. Happy Father’s Day from Tammy Karas-Griggs.
It’s a common assumption that children of divorce are more likely to get divorced themselves.
For the most part, that’s what psychologists have found when they’ve studied this phenomenon.
But perhaps divorce per se isn’t exactly what’s to blame.
A recent study in Marriage & Family Review looked at whether it was experiencing divorce itself as a child that played a role in later breakups, or whether it was merely conflict that might be at play.
Researchers analyzed a data set of American families stretching from 1987 to 2003 to track how children of divorce and unhappy marriages turned out. The researchers found that children who experienced high levels of family conflict (not divorce) – parents fighting, worrying about money, abuse, etc. – were more likely to get divorced as adults.
But children in high conflict families whose parents got divorced fared the same as children in low conflict families whose parents stayed together.
In other words: High levels of conflict are a big problem. But a divorce can actually be part of the solution.
Children in high conflict families whose parents didn’t get divorced were the ones who were actually most likely to get divorced as adults. The researchers think this is because by staying together, the family actually had to endure more conflict than if the parents had split up.
“We suggest that … children’s exposure to daily conflict is diminished after union dissolution, thus reducing children’s opportunities to model their parents’ conflictual style, which may be associated with an inability to resolve relationship conflict,” the researchers concluded. “This lack of ability to make resolutions or compromise may lead to their inability to have successful cohabiting or marital unions.”
While this study shows an association between high-conflict childhoods and divorces in adulthood, children who grow up in families with a lot of conflict may well grow up to have happy marriages themselves. The research shows a higher likelihood of divorce, not some kind of predetermined fate. And this finding of course isn’t applicable to every family situation.
There is other scientific evidence supporting the researchers’ conclusion. Studies have found, for example, that children’s wellbeing often increases when their parents divorce after a lot of conflict.
The lesson here may be that if the parents are happy – even if that’s attained by getting divorced – the kids could be happier, too. Written by Rebecca Harrington, published by TechInsider.io
Recent Supreme Court case addresses the possibility of implementing chemical castration as a new punishment for convicted sexual predators in rare cases.
The Supreme Court heard a plea by the Supreme Court Women Lawyers Association seeking chemical castration of child rapists. The court favored tougher punishments for sex offenders but doesn’t have the ability to allow for harsher measures such as chemical castration.
Chemical castration works by reducing offenders’ testosterone levels and uses the assistance of drugs to lower sex drive.Those in support of this method believe it is the best way to discourage repeat offenses because sex offenders have a high rate of relapsing back into their criminal ways.
Abha Singh, a women’s rights activist, mentioned that serial offenders have psychological problems that chemical castration can help correct. In situations as repulsive as child rape, she believes strict measures must be taken. Other arguments in favor of chemical castration point out that unlike surgical castration, it can be reversed and is non-invasive.
Opposing arguments cite that it appears to be a suitable solution only when viewed from the biological side. Robert Philips, medical deputy director of the American Psychiatry Association, previously stated that the issue of sex offense is credited to deviant predatory behavior, and must be observed from a psychological standpoint as well.
Experts also argue that a clinical evaluation along with psychological tests and polygraph tests must be administered to predict recidivism in each specific case.
The National Academy of Family Law Attorneys (“NAFLA”) is an organization devoted to recognizing the top family law attorneys in the nation. With over a million attorneys in the United States, choosing the best lawyer is difficult. However, through a stringent selection process, the NAFLA awards the best family law attorneys in each state with the most prestigious honor of being named “TOP 10”. The very few attorneys (less than 1%) that are good enough to make the list have demonstrated an extraordinary amount of knowledge, skill, experience, expertise and success in their practice of family law.
The attorneys that make the list have to first be nominated by a licensed practicing attorney. Second, the NAFLA research staff verifies that they meet the minimum requirements of membership. Then they have to be one of 50 attorneys chosen to advance to the final selection stage by the NAFLA processing committee. Finally they have to be selected by our Board of Governors as the “TOP 10”. Karas-Griggs has received this prestigious honor and been named a Top 10 Family Law Attorney Under 40 In Louisiana.
Pursuing a divorce can be a very strenuous process and there are many factors that should be considered before you decide to proceed with one. Having been through a divorce myself, I understand that when things aren’t working out, you can succumb to the heat of that moment and make rash decisions before considering the options. Anyone can go out and find a divorce lawyer to handle your case, but does that lawyer have your best interests in mind when working with you? I want to make sure that you are not only comfortable after your divorce, but also financially stable, and you and your children are safe. But why is it important to review these considerations before proceeding with a divorce and how can it affect your long term livelihood?
To answer this question, I reached out to industry experts from various backgrounds to shed light in this topic for prospective divorcees by asking a simple question:
“What do you believe are the 5 most important considerations when proceeding with a divorce?”
Many of the decisions during the divorce process have long term impacts so it’s important to make these when you’re ready. Most of the time, if a decision is right for you, you’ll feel it. If you aren’t getting that sense that something is right, then look to postpone making the decision. Take the pressure off and then consider what else you need to help you make the decision.
Allow Yourself To Feel
Many people describe divorce as an emotional roller coaster and that can be pretty scary if you’ve been emotionally shut down for a while. But all those emotions are important signals of your values and they can guide your decision-making. So, when the tears come, the anger boils over, and when grief engulfs you, don’t push those emotions away. Allow yourself to feel them and try to understand what they’re telling you.
There’s Always Loss
The obvious loss with divorce is of your partner but there are usually many more: loss of the marriage, loss of family as you pictured it, loss of growing old together, loss of your lifestyle, loss of the family home. Acknowledging all these losses is an important step in recovering from the end of your marriage and is foundational to building the next stage of your life.
Don’t Listen To Legal War Stories
Don’t pay too much attention to other people’s stories of legal battles. They’re akin to childbirth stories, either over in a flash or days spent enduring terrible pain with no relief. The truth is every divorce is different and what happens is very fact specific. What happened to them doesn’t have to happen to you. Do your research and do seek competent legal advice.
Work With A Divorce Coach
Going through divorce is a major life event, not just a legal process. It impacts virtually every aspect of your daily life. A divorce coach brings together the collective wisdom of many divorces, many different situations and will guide you through the decisions that need to be made, exploring options you may not have thought of. Getting divorced with a team of professionals supporting you will make it less stressful and position you better for what’s next.
When someone is thinking about getting divorced, they should of course consult with an attorney, but there are many other sources that will give valuable information. You can speak to a financial advisor to understand your financial situation with the loss of a secondary income and how you will be best able to manage your expenses.
Speak to a Therapist and Child Psychologist
You can speak to a therapist and child psychologist to help you understand how to cope with a divorce emotionally while keeping a clear head and not making rash decisions based on “hot feelings”, while a child psychologist will help you prepare your children for losing a parent and the closeness associated with having that other family member always there.
Talk to Your Realtor
You should also consult with your realtor. In certain cases, you may have to sell your house in a divorce when splitting assets, so make sure you can find new residence that you can afford on your single income while supporting your children. You can even consult with your friends or family for other information on their divorce experiences.
Spouse Addictions
If your spouse suffers from an addiction issue, they might want to speak to a therapist who specializes in addiction to help them move forward past this illness.
Arm Yourself With Knowledge
Going into a divorce armed with knowledge is key in making the transition as smooth as possible. Research all the information available to you to fully comprehend what you need to go about getting a divorce and whether you will be financially capable and sustainable after the fact.
Daniel E. Clement – New York Divorce Report
Arm Yourself
It’s important that you arm yourself with as much information as you can when considering going through the divorce process. There are a number of public resources you can utilize from your local courthouses self-help center to get more information on the divorce process.
Create a Detailed Inventory of Assets and Liabilities
If you opt for a divorce, you need to consider how much your life will be impacted. You will lose a second source of income, possibly lose the emotional support you rely on, and a sense of closeness. Feuds can arise of whose property belongs to who and joint liabilities can become difficult to resolve. Take an inventory of all your possessions and liabilities you are responsible for.
Get Your Tax Returns and Bills
With the loss of a second source of income, it can be problematic for you to manage expenses alone especially if a child is involved. By providing detailed information about your wages with your tax returns in comparison to your bills, you can determine whether it would be feasible for you to independently live off of your current financial standing.
Understand Your Budget & Needs to Resolve Your Case
Know what you are capable of handling. If your sole income cannot compensate for the needs of you or your children, you may need to reconsider your options. You can identify potential areas where you can cut back to increase your budget or seek financial advising assistance.
The Tally of Findings
As you can see, there is so much information you can take advantage of to accurately prepare for going about the divorce process. Each of our experts provided insightful information on key areas you should focus on when going about the divorce process.
Don’t Be Pressured Into Your Decisions. Consult with a therapist and arm yourself with information from your local courthouse’s help center on general divorce information. Keep calm and avoid rash decision making. Consult with a divorce coach to help you further cope with the loss of family in this inevitable emotional battle.
Understand Your Finances. Speak to a financial advisor and review your tax returns and wages to determine if you will be capable of solely financing your livelihood and your childrens.
Consult A Child Psychologist. Help your children through the divorce by ensuring they are prepared with what is happening and what is at stake. They will be losing the closeness of family and this can result in repercussions in their school work and behavior.
Take Inventory of Your Possessions and Liabilities. With separation from a divorce comes separation of belongings. It’s important you take inventory of everything that is yours and determine how you will separate joint assets like your home, joint bills, and child support.
Consult A Divorce Attorney. A divorce is a legal battle. An experienced divorce lawyer will work with you through the emotional turmoil and the legal turmoil and build a comprehensive case that is advantageous for you and your family. As a divorcee, I understand the difficulties associated with a divorce and will be with you every step of the way.
Remain cool, calm, and collected. Remember that you are being observed by the officer and possibly recorded on audio/video. What you say and do can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Slow down and, when safe to do so, use your turn signal and pull over on the side of the road (usually the right side).
Remain in your vehicle unless the officer directs you to get out of your vehicle.
Keep your mouth shut. It is important to not voluntarily offer the officer any information other than your name and your identification. Oftentimes, people provide officers information that help lead to their arrest (such as how many drinks they consumed). Do not do this.
Do not argue with the officer. This will only help lead to your arrest.
Avoid giving the officer an excuse to search your vehicle. Do not focus your attention on an area that you do not want the officer to search.
Remember that you do not have to consent to the field sobriety test or the breathalyzer test. If you have been drinking and are unsure as to whether you will pass these tests, you are not required to take these tests. (In Louisiana, failure to take the breathalyzer test when asked to do so by the officer can lead to you losing your driver’s license, however not taking the breathalyzer could prevent your conviction for a DWI.)
If you are placed under arrest, keep your mouth shut in the officer’s vehicle.
Once you arrive at the jail, keep your mouth shut.
Immediately contact Tammy Karas Griggs, a qualified attorney with over a decade of experience, who will fight for your rights.
(1) Seek legal representation immediately by an experienced and qualified attorney. Tammy Karas Griggs has over a decade of experience and can help guide you through obtaining the medical care you need for your injuries and making those responsible for your injuries pay for them. Tammy Karas Griggs can work on resolving your case with the insurance companies so that you can focus on getting well and back to work.
(2) Do not discuss your auto accident with anyone. Be mindful that any statement you make regarding your auto accident and/or your injuries could be misinterpreted and could hurt you later down the road at trial or in settlement negotiations.
(3) Maintain a written record of the time you miss from work as well as your loss of income. Many folks miss work after an auto accident due to their injuries. Wages that are lost, due to your auto accident, can be recovered. If you have an employer, obtain a letter from him or her stating the specific dates of work you missed due to your injury as well as the income you lost on those dates.
(4) Be sure to inform anyone who contacts you regarding the auto accident and/or your injuries that you are represented by an attorney and give him/her the name and telephone number of your attorney. Do not say anything regarding your auto accident and/or your injuries. That is why you have retained legal representation – to take care of that for you so that you can work on getting well. Again, any statement you make regarding your auto accident and/or your injuries could be misinterpreted and could hurt you later down the road at trial or in settlement negotiations.
(5) Maintain the name, telephone number, and any other identifying information of anyone who contacts you regarding your auto accident and/or your injuries and immediately provide this information to your attorney.
(6) Immediately notify your attorney if you change your address or your telephone number. Your attorney must be able to contact you at any time necessary. If your attorney is unable to reach you, then your case cannot move forward.
(7) Provide your attorney with the name, telephone number, and address of any and all hospitals, clinics, physicians, and pharmacies you have visited due to your injuries from your auto accident.
(8) Immediately notify your attorney of a change to a new health care provider, physician, or pharmacy.
(9) If there is any change whatsoever in your injuries from your auto accident, immediately notify your attorney. There are times when your attorney may advise you to obtain a second medical opinion or may refer you to a physician that specializes in helping folks with the specific injuries and symptoms you have.
(10) Send your attorney copies of all of your medical bills and prescriptions receipts so that your attorney can obtain reimbursement of those costs for you.
(11) Keep your appointments with your physician. Even if you are free of pain on the day of your appointment or feel that your condition has improved, it is important to keep your appointment. It is important to communicate with your physician as to any pain you felt since your previous appointment. Your physician is generally the only witness you have who can prove you were/are in pain.
(12) Do not rush the progress of your treatment for your injuries just to obtain a quick settlement. It is important that your pain is resolved to the maximum it can be. Allow your physician to appropriately and effectively treat you and to then discharge you. Once you settle your case, you cannot go back for more money if your condition worsens so it is important to stay in treatment as long as is necessary and until discharged by your physician.
Child custody battles are hard on everyone. They take an emotional toll on you, your former partner and the children involved as well. If you are going through a custody battle, keep in mind these simple, yet important guidelines for the smoothest, most civil process and outcome.
Don’t discuss the divorce with your children or use the children as a messenger in your divorce.
Divorce and custody battles are not pretty, or easy. Even as adults, we struggle to maintain ourselves during a dispute over something so important. Children do not understand the concept on a level that adults can, and should be left out of the situation as much as possible. Do not use your children as the middle man between you and your partner. Doing this can make your children feel the need to take sides, which will have unhealthy outcomes for not only them, but also you.
Don’t talk negatively about the other parent or his or her family with your children.
We are human, and sometimes, we speak out of pure frustration. When this cannot be avoided, vent without your children around. Speaking negatively about a children’s parent can lead to many emotional consequences that will make the process harder for everyone involved.
Don’t interrogate your children after they spend time with the other parent.
You don’t like to be interrogated- neither do your children. There may be aspects of your former partner’s life you want to know about, but asking your children for information will make them feel as though they need to hide certain things from both sides, and that is not a healthy way to live.
Don’t withhold the children from the other parent, absent allegations of physical, sexual, or substance abuse.
Typically, both parents are an invaluable part of a child’s life. Unless the circumstances are severe (physical/ emotional abuse, drug or alcohol related problems, etc), children should be allowed to see their parent, so that their lives can proceed normally.
Don’t refer to the children as “my” children.
Again, creating a side will make children feel like they have to take sides. This can cause emotional distress, and can lead to many other problems down the road.
Don’t dwell on the past and your own marital issues when formulating the custody plan.
This is something everyone struggles with, and it is understandable. A custody plan is typically designed to provide the children involved the best possible outcome. Dwelling on the past will not help mold a bright future for you, or your kids.
Don’t use the children as leverage to obtain other things you may want in the divorce.
Children are not supposed to be leveraged. They should be loved, cared for, and watched over by both parents throughout any disagreement regarding custody.
Don’t involve the children in your child support issues.
Children don’t think in terms of dollars. If parents are sharing details about child support, this can make children feel like a burden; no one wants to feel like they are weighing heavy one someone- especially not their parents.
Don’t represent yourself.
For the best possible outcome, professional representation is always recommended. Tammy Karas Griggs is always available for any questions you may have, and is always prepared to represent clients in family law cases.
Don’t listen to advice from your friends. Instead, choose an attorney experienced in family law, and particularly custody cases.
Our friends want what is best for us, but sometimes in all the commotion, they can miss some aspects of a custody battle. An experienced, knowledgeable attorney can ensure that you, and your child walk away with the best possible outcome. Contact Tammy Karas Griggs or call the office today at (985) 247-0345.
Recent Supreme Court case addresses the possibility of implementing chemical castration as a new punishment for convicted sexual predators in rare cases.
