The National Academy of Family Law Attorneys (“NAFLA”) is an organization devoted to recognizing the top family law attorneys in the nation. With over a million attorneys in the United States, choosing the best lawyer is difficult. However, through a stringent selection process, the NAFLA awards the best family law attorneys in each state with the most prestigious honor of being named “TOP 10”. The very few attorneys (less than 1%) that are good enough to make the list have demonstrated an extraordinary amount of knowledge, skill, experience, expertise and success in their practice of family law.
The attorneys that make the list have to first be nominated by a licensed practicing attorney. Second, the NAFLA research staff verifies that they meet the minimum requirements of membership. Then they have to be one of 50 attorneys chosen to advance to the final selection stage by the NAFLA processing committee. Finally they have to be selected by our Board of Governors as the “TOP 10”. Karas-Griggs has received this prestigious honor and been named a Top 10 Family Law Attorney Under 40 In Louisiana.
Pursuing a divorce can be a very strenuous process and there are many factors that should be considered before you decide to proceed with one. Having been through a divorce myself, I understand that when things aren’t working out, you can succumb to the heat of that moment and make rash decisions before considering the options. Anyone can go out and find a divorce lawyer to handle your case, but does that lawyer have your best interests in mind when working with you? I want to make sure that you are not only comfortable after your divorce, but also financially stable, and you and your children are safe. But why is it important to review these considerations before proceeding with a divorce and how can it affect your long term livelihood?
To answer this question, I reached out to industry experts from various backgrounds to shed light in this topic for prospective divorcees by asking a simple question:
“What do you believe are the 5 most important considerations when proceeding with a divorce?”
Many of the decisions during the divorce process have long term impacts so it’s important to make these when you’re ready. Most of the time, if a decision is right for you, you’ll feel it. If you aren’t getting that sense that something is right, then look to postpone making the decision. Take the pressure off and then consider what else you need to help you make the decision.
Allow Yourself To Feel
Many people describe divorce as an emotional roller coaster and that can be pretty scary if you’ve been emotionally shut down for a while. But all those emotions are important signals of your values and they can guide your decision-making. So, when the tears come, the anger boils over, and when grief engulfs you, don’t push those emotions away. Allow yourself to feel them and try to understand what they’re telling you.
There’s Always Loss
The obvious loss with divorce is of your partner but there are usually many more: loss of the marriage, loss of family as you pictured it, loss of growing old together, loss of your lifestyle, loss of the family home. Acknowledging all these losses is an important step in recovering from the end of your marriage and is foundational to building the next stage of your life.
Don’t Listen To Legal War Stories
Don’t pay too much attention to other people’s stories of legal battles. They’re akin to childbirth stories, either over in a flash or days spent enduring terrible pain with no relief. The truth is every divorce is different and what happens is very fact specific. What happened to them doesn’t have to happen to you. Do your research and do seek competent legal advice.
Work With A Divorce Coach
Going through divorce is a major life event, not just a legal process. It impacts virtually every aspect of your daily life. A divorce coach brings together the collective wisdom of many divorces, many different situations and will guide you through the decisions that need to be made, exploring options you may not have thought of. Getting divorced with a team of professionals supporting you will make it less stressful and position you better for what’s next.
When someone is thinking about getting divorced, they should of course consult with an attorney, but there are many other sources that will give valuable information. You can speak to a financial advisor to understand your financial situation with the loss of a secondary income and how you will be best able to manage your expenses.
Speak to a Therapist and Child Psychologist
You can speak to a therapist and child psychologist to help you understand how to cope with a divorce emotionally while keeping a clear head and not making rash decisions based on “hot feelings”, while a child psychologist will help you prepare your children for losing a parent and the closeness associated with having that other family member always there.
Talk to Your Realtor
You should also consult with your realtor. In certain cases, you may have to sell your house in a divorce when splitting assets, so make sure you can find new residence that you can afford on your single income while supporting your children. You can even consult with your friends or family for other information on their divorce experiences.
Spouse Addictions
If your spouse suffers from an addiction issue, they might want to speak to a therapist who specializes in addiction to help them move forward past this illness.
Arm Yourself With Knowledge
Going into a divorce armed with knowledge is key in making the transition as smooth as possible. Research all the information available to you to fully comprehend what you need to go about getting a divorce and whether you will be financially capable and sustainable after the fact.
Daniel E. Clement – New York Divorce Report
Arm Yourself
It’s important that you arm yourself with as much information as you can when considering going through the divorce process. There are a number of public resources you can utilize from your local courthouses self-help center to get more information on the divorce process.
Create a Detailed Inventory of Assets and Liabilities
If you opt for a divorce, you need to consider how much your life will be impacted. You will lose a second source of income, possibly lose the emotional support you rely on, and a sense of closeness. Feuds can arise of whose property belongs to who and joint liabilities can become difficult to resolve. Take an inventory of all your possessions and liabilities you are responsible for.
Get Your Tax Returns and Bills
With the loss of a second source of income, it can be problematic for you to manage expenses alone especially if a child is involved. By providing detailed information about your wages with your tax returns in comparison to your bills, you can determine whether it would be feasible for you to independently live off of your current financial standing.
Understand Your Budget & Needs to Resolve Your Case
Know what you are capable of handling. If your sole income cannot compensate for the needs of you or your children, you may need to reconsider your options. You can identify potential areas where you can cut back to increase your budget or seek financial advising assistance.
The Tally of Findings
As you can see, there is so much information you can take advantage of to accurately prepare for going about the divorce process. Each of our experts provided insightful information on key areas you should focus on when going about the divorce process.
Don’t Be Pressured Into Your Decisions. Consult with a therapist and arm yourself with information from your local courthouse’s help center on general divorce information. Keep calm and avoid rash decision making. Consult with a divorce coach to help you further cope with the loss of family in this inevitable emotional battle.
Understand Your Finances. Speak to a financial advisor and review your tax returns and wages to determine if you will be capable of solely financing your livelihood and your childrens.
Consult A Child Psychologist. Help your children through the divorce by ensuring they are prepared with what is happening and what is at stake. They will be losing the closeness of family and this can result in repercussions in their school work and behavior.
Take Inventory of Your Possessions and Liabilities. With separation from a divorce comes separation of belongings. It’s important you take inventory of everything that is yours and determine how you will separate joint assets like your home, joint bills, and child support.
Consult A Divorce Attorney. A divorce is a legal battle. An experienced divorce lawyer will work with you through the emotional turmoil and the legal turmoil and build a comprehensive case that is advantageous for you and your family. As a divorcee, I understand the difficulties associated with a divorce and will be with you every step of the way.
Remain cool, calm, and collected. Remember that you are being observed by the officer and possibly recorded on audio/video. What you say and do can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Slow down and, when safe to do so, use your turn signal and pull over on the side of the road (usually the right side).
Remain in your vehicle unless the officer directs you to get out of your vehicle.
Keep your mouth shut. It is important to not voluntarily offer the officer any information other than your name and your identification. Oftentimes, people provide officers information that help lead to their arrest (such as how many drinks they consumed). Do not do this.
Do not argue with the officer. This will only help lead to your arrest.
Avoid giving the officer an excuse to search your vehicle. Do not focus your attention on an area that you do not want the officer to search.
Remember that you do not have to consent to the field sobriety test or the breathalyzer test. If you have been drinking and are unsure as to whether you will pass these tests, you are not required to take these tests. (In Louisiana, failure to take the breathalyzer test when asked to do so by the officer can lead to you losing your driver’s license, however not taking the breathalyzer could prevent your conviction for a DWI.)
If you are placed under arrest, keep your mouth shut in the officer’s vehicle.
Once you arrive at the jail, keep your mouth shut.
Immediately contact Tammy Karas Griggs, a qualified attorney with over a decade of experience, who will fight for your rights.
(1) Seek legal representation immediately by an experienced and qualified attorney. Tammy Karas Griggs has over a decade of experience and can help guide you through obtaining the medical care you need for your injuries and making those responsible for your injuries pay for them. Tammy Karas Griggs can work on resolving your case with the insurance companies so that you can focus on getting well and back to work.
(2) Do not discuss your auto accident with anyone. Be mindful that any statement you make regarding your auto accident and/or your injuries could be misinterpreted and could hurt you later down the road at trial or in settlement negotiations.
(3) Maintain a written record of the time you miss from work as well as your loss of income. Many folks miss work after an auto accident due to their injuries. Wages that are lost, due to your auto accident, can be recovered. If you have an employer, obtain a letter from him or her stating the specific dates of work you missed due to your injury as well as the income you lost on those dates.
(4) Be sure to inform anyone who contacts you regarding the auto accident and/or your injuries that you are represented by an attorney and give him/her the name and telephone number of your attorney. Do not say anything regarding your auto accident and/or your injuries. That is why you have retained legal representation – to take care of that for you so that you can work on getting well. Again, any statement you make regarding your auto accident and/or your injuries could be misinterpreted and could hurt you later down the road at trial or in settlement negotiations.
(5) Maintain the name, telephone number, and any other identifying information of anyone who contacts you regarding your auto accident and/or your injuries and immediately provide this information to your attorney.
(6) Immediately notify your attorney if you change your address or your telephone number. Your attorney must be able to contact you at any time necessary. If your attorney is unable to reach you, then your case cannot move forward.
(7) Provide your attorney with the name, telephone number, and address of any and all hospitals, clinics, physicians, and pharmacies you have visited due to your injuries from your auto accident.
(8) Immediately notify your attorney of a change to a new health care provider, physician, or pharmacy.
(9) If there is any change whatsoever in your injuries from your auto accident, immediately notify your attorney. There are times when your attorney may advise you to obtain a second medical opinion or may refer you to a physician that specializes in helping folks with the specific injuries and symptoms you have.
(10) Send your attorney copies of all of your medical bills and prescriptions receipts so that your attorney can obtain reimbursement of those costs for you.
(11) Keep your appointments with your physician. Even if you are free of pain on the day of your appointment or feel that your condition has improved, it is important to keep your appointment. It is important to communicate with your physician as to any pain you felt since your previous appointment. Your physician is generally the only witness you have who can prove you were/are in pain.
(12) Do not rush the progress of your treatment for your injuries just to obtain a quick settlement. It is important that your pain is resolved to the maximum it can be. Allow your physician to appropriately and effectively treat you and to then discharge you. Once you settle your case, you cannot go back for more money if your condition worsens so it is important to stay in treatment as long as is necessary and until discharged by your physician.
Child custody battles are hard on everyone. They take an emotional toll on you, your former partner and the children involved as well. If you are going through a custody battle, keep in mind these simple, yet important guidelines for the smoothest, most civil process and outcome.
Don’t discuss the divorce with your children or use the children as a messenger in your divorce.
Divorce and custody battles are not pretty, or easy. Even as adults, we struggle to maintain ourselves during a dispute over something so important. Children do not understand the concept on a level that adults can, and should be left out of the situation as much as possible. Do not use your children as the middle man between you and your partner. Doing this can make your children feel the need to take sides, which will have unhealthy outcomes for not only them, but also you.
Don’t talk negatively about the other parent or his or her family with your children.
We are human, and sometimes, we speak out of pure frustration. When this cannot be avoided, vent without your children around. Speaking negatively about a children’s parent can lead to many emotional consequences that will make the process harder for everyone involved.
Don’t interrogate your children after they spend time with the other parent.
You don’t like to be interrogated- neither do your children. There may be aspects of your former partner’s life you want to know about, but asking your children for information will make them feel as though they need to hide certain things from both sides, and that is not a healthy way to live.
Don’t withhold the children from the other parent, absent allegations of physical, sexual, or substance abuse.
Typically, both parents are an invaluable part of a child’s life. Unless the circumstances are severe (physical/ emotional abuse, drug or alcohol related problems, etc), children should be allowed to see their parent, so that their lives can proceed normally.
Don’t refer to the children as “my” children.
Again, creating a side will make children feel like they have to take sides. This can cause emotional distress, and can lead to many other problems down the road.
Don’t dwell on the past and your own marital issues when formulating the custody plan.
This is something everyone struggles with, and it is understandable. A custody plan is typically designed to provide the children involved the best possible outcome. Dwelling on the past will not help mold a bright future for you, or your kids.
Don’t use the children as leverage to obtain other things you may want in the divorce.
Children are not supposed to be leveraged. They should be loved, cared for, and watched over by both parents throughout any disagreement regarding custody.
Don’t involve the children in your child support issues.
Children don’t think in terms of dollars. If parents are sharing details about child support, this can make children feel like a burden; no one wants to feel like they are weighing heavy one someone- especially not their parents.
Don’t represent yourself.
For the best possible outcome, professional representation is always recommended. Tammy Karas Griggs is always available for any questions you may have, and is always prepared to represent clients in family law cases.
Don’t listen to advice from your friends. Instead, choose an attorney experienced in family law, and particularly custody cases.
Our friends want what is best for us, but sometimes in all the commotion, they can miss some aspects of a custody battle. An experienced, knowledgeable attorney can ensure that you, and your child walk away with the best possible outcome. Contact Tammy Karas Griggs or call the office today at (985) 247-0345.
