30 Mar The Divorce Process – 5 Things to Consider | Tammy Karas Griggs | Covington, LA

Pursuing a divorce can be a very strenuous process and there are many factors that should be considered before you decide to proceed with one. Having been through a divorce myself, I understand that when things aren’t working out, you can succumb to the heat of that moment and make rash decisions before considering the options. Anyone can go out and find a divorce lawyer to handle your case, but does that lawyer have your best interests in mind when working with you? I want to make sure that you are not only comfortable after your divorce, but also financially stable, and you and your children are safe. But why is it important to review these considerations before proceeding with a divorce and how can it affect your long term livelihood?

To answer this question, I reached out to industry experts from various backgrounds to shed light in this topic for prospective divorcees by asking a simple question:

“What do you believe are the 5 most important considerations when proceeding with a divorce?”

The Expert Results

Mandy Walker  – Since My Divorce

Don’t Be Pressured Into Decisions

Many of the decisions during the divorce process have long term impacts so it’s important to make these when you’re ready. Most of the time, if a decision is right for you, you’ll feel it. If you aren’t getting that sense that something is right, then look to postpone making the decision. Take the pressure off and then consider what else you need to help you make the decision.

Allow Yourself To Feel

Many people describe divorce as an emotional roller coaster and that can be pretty scary if you’ve been emotionally shut down for a while. But all those emotions are important signals of your values and they can guide your decision-making. So, when the tears come, the anger boils over, and when grief engulfs you, don’t push those emotions away. Allow yourself to feel them and try to understand what they’re telling you.

There’s Always Loss

The obvious loss with divorce is of your partner but there are usually many more: loss of the marriage, loss of family as you pictured it, loss of growing old together, loss of your lifestyle, loss of the family home. Acknowledging all these losses is an important step in recovering from the end of your marriage and is foundational to building the next stage of your life.

Don’t Listen To Legal War Stories

Don’t pay too much attention to other people’s stories of legal battles. They’re akin to childbirth stories, either over in a flash or days spent enduring terrible pain with no relief. The truth is every divorce is different and what happens is very fact specific. What happened to them doesn’t have to happen to you. Do your research and do seek competent legal advice.

Work With A Divorce Coach

Going through divorce is a major life event, not just a legal process. It impacts virtually every aspect of your daily life. A divorce coach brings together the collective wisdom of many divorces, many different situations and will guide you through the decisions that need to be made, exploring options you may not have thought of. Getting divorced with a team of professionals supporting you will make it less stressful and position you better for what’s next.

Jackie Pilossoph – Divorced Girl Smiling

Understand Your Finances

When someone is thinking about getting divorced, they should of course consult with an attorney, but there are many other sources that will give valuable information. You can speak to a financial advisor to understand your financial situation with the loss of a secondary income and how you will be best able to manage your expenses.

Speak to a Therapist and Child Psychologist

You can speak to a therapist and child psychologist to help you understand how to cope with a divorce emotionally while keeping a clear head and not making rash decisions based on “hot feelings”, while a child psychologist will help you prepare your children for losing a parent and the closeness associated with having that other family member always there.

Talk to Your Realtor

You should also consult with your realtor. In certain cases, you may have to sell your house in a divorce when splitting assets, so make sure you can find new residence that you can afford on your single income while supporting your children. You can even consult with your friends or family for other information on their divorce experiences.

Spouse Addictions

If your spouse suffers from an addiction issue, they might want to speak to a therapist who specializes in addiction to help them move forward past this illness.

Arm Yourself With Knowledge

Going into a divorce armed with knowledge is key in making the transition as smooth as possible. Research all the information available to you to fully comprehend what you need to go about getting a divorce and whether you will be financially capable and sustainable after the fact.

Daniel E. Clement – New York Divorce Report

Arm Yourself

It’s important that you arm yourself with as much information as you can when considering going through the divorce process. There are a number of public resources you can utilize from your local courthouses self-help center to get more information on the divorce process.

Create a Detailed Inventory of Assets and Liabilities

If you opt for a divorce, you need to consider how much your life will be impacted. You will lose a second source of income, possibly lose the emotional support you rely on, and a sense of closeness. Feuds can arise of whose property belongs to who and joint liabilities can become difficult to resolve. Take an inventory of all your possessions and liabilities you are responsible for.

Get Your Tax Returns and Bills

With the loss of a second source of income, it can be problematic for you to manage expenses alone especially if a child is involved. By providing detailed information about your wages with your tax returns in comparison to your bills, you can determine whether it would be feasible for you to independently live off of your current financial standing.

Understand Your Budget & Needs to Resolve Your Case

Know what you are capable of handling. If your sole income cannot compensate for the needs of you or your children, you may need to reconsider your options. You can identify potential areas where you can cut back to increase your budget or seek financial advising assistance.

The Tally of Findings

As you can see, there is so much information you can take advantage of to accurately prepare for going about the divorce process. Each of our experts provided insightful information on key areas you should focus on when going about the divorce process.

1. Don’t Be Pressured Into Your Decisions. Consult with a therapist and arm yourself with information from your local courthouse’s help center on general divorce information. Keep calm and avoid rash decision making. Consult with a divorce coach to help you further cope with the loss of family in this inevitable emotional battle.
2. Understand Your Finances. Speak to a financial advisor and review your tax returns and wages to determine if you will be capable of solely financing your livelihood and your childrens.
3. Consult A Child Psychologist. Help your children through the divorce by ensuring they are prepared with what is happening and what is at stake. They will be losing the closeness of family and this can result in repercussions in their school work and behavior.
4. Take Inventory of Your Possessions and Liabilities. With separation from a divorce comes separation of belongings. It’s important you take inventory of everything that is yours and determine how you will separate joint assets like your home, joint bills, and child support.
5. Consult A Divorce Attorney. A divorce is a legal battle. An experienced divorce lawyer will work with you through the emotional turmoil and the legal turmoil and build a comprehensive case that is advantageous for you and your family. As a divorcee, I understand the difficulties associated with a divorce and will be with you every step of the way.

If you would like more information on how to proceed through the divorce process and would like to discuss your options, please contact us for a free consultation and case review.